What might have been...

A couple weekends ago, I was in my old stomping grounds of New York City. It’s a place where I found my voice, my carefree self, my love. Having temporarily escaped a life where I am mommy, wife, and insomniac entrepreneur, I found myself suddenly in the land of What-might-have-been.

What-might-have-been is a place of nostalgia and sentimentality for me. It’s a place where I yearn for the freedom and independence of being a single woman living in NYC. It’s also a land of what-ifs. What if I had taken that other job? What if I had never left New York? What if I had never met my husband? It’s a bittersweet frame of mind for me to be in. And after a while, I find it a bit boring, because it’s in the past, where things have already happened. And the past – unless you’re a time traveler – is a place where there is no possibility of action. At the same time, it’s a lovely stop to make on your way to the land of What-is. So that’s where I went next.

When I stepped into What-is, I found myself celebrating my life – my family, my friends, the daily silliness, the certainty and uncertainty of it, the frenetic pace. It’s a place of real gratitude and richness for me. It also puts me in a frame of mind that allows me to become really present to what’s going on in the moment. As a result, I was able to really savor the conversations, the extra sleep and even the perfect NY bagel I ate during my visit. I could have stayed in What-is forever, but being one who is compulsively compelled forward, I had to keep going – to What-will-be.

After all, what would a weekend getaway be without a trip to What-will-be? Compared to What-might-have-been, What-will-be is a place of pure creation! It’s where I get to declare the themes and create the vision that will guide and inspire me in my life. It’s a place that can move me to action in crafting the life I want for myself and my family. For me, that life will be one that is rich with learning and laughter. A life in which we are whole and healthy. A life where we have room for creativity and new experiences together and apart.

As I write this, I am on a plane, heading back to my home and my life-that-is. It’s a life that will be forever impacted by the trip I have taken this weekend, and by other actions that I take from this point on. I can’t wait to touch down, and I can’t wait to move forward in further creating a life I love.

Over the next couple of weeks, I invite you to take your own trips to the same lands. Journal about it. Talk to other people about your thoughts. Revel in them. Be scared and saddened by them. Enjoy them. Just be sure to spend enough time in each place, so that you can explore them fully. And let me know what you discover after you get back from your trip to What-might-have-been, What-is, and What-will-be.

Introspecting from the Sandbox,
Carolyn